She Did What?! Susan Prout, Co-Founder of I Have The Right To
This is a platform to share the radical pivots, risks, self-evaluations and reflections of people I admire. We dig into the moments that led the people in their lives to go, “She Did What?!” and ultimately, to their personal or professional metamorphosis.
Many of these stories of pivots and risk are exciting and motivational and while Susan Prout's story is most definitely an inspiration, this story has a heavier tone than some of our other features on this platform. This is a story of courage in the face of great opposition and fighting for not only your family but for what is right. We are honored that Susan has agreed to share her story with us on this platform. We know that while this is one story, there are unfortunately many others out there like this. If you or someone you know has had a similar experience we have recommended resources for you at the bottom of this article.
In 2018, Susan started the non-profit I Have the Right To after her daughter was sexually assaulted at her boarding school. The mission of, I Have the Right To, is to combat the systemic issues facing many of our institutions that result in cultures of abuse and assault. Additionally the non-profit works to create frameworks to help others who have experienced abuse and are now seeking justice. Susan shares with us the founding story of I Have the Right To.
There was no thinking when I started I Have the Right To. It was an instinctive mama-bear mode of operating.
My "North Star" since we had our kids has always been the health and well-being of our family unit. I had no issue whatsoever understanding what my daughter told me: an older student had sex with her and she did not want it. That had to be reported. Later, when we realized the school was more concerned with their reputation and standing, I realized we could not rely on the school despite its fiduciary responsibility - to care for our child. We would not fade to black.
Even when she left the school, and our criminal and civil complaints were settled, we remain stalwart in the belief that the boarding school model is broken and schools need to do better to prepare their students, along with all stakeholders, to be better, law-abiding, and healthy "Sexual Citizens".
We don't always have control over the details in our life, which causes us to pivot. Sometimes, you just have to recenter yourself, reorient yourself to your North Star, and find a way forward. It's scary when you don't see the path. When Chessy ultimately finished high school at a local school, I remember waking up one night, sitting straight up in bed and announcing to my husband: we are moving to Washington D.C.!
I admire the clarity of thinking that Susan was able to harness in the face of a family crisis. She immediately knew what needed to be done- report the crime. And when that wasn’t working, she immediately pivoted and knew that a major life change needed to happen. The move to Washington D.C. wasn’t to escape the problem or the environment, but rather to take their cause to a larger stage and work to support other young individuals going through similar situations.
We had connected with and received support from so many young women who were also fighting sexual assault on college campuses. In what other sector did victims have to basically go it alone to fight for their rights? Where were the others demanding better for our children? I knew I would never be satisfied without real change.
Despite the great disappointment of not being able to influence the leaders at our children's school, we were not going to give up the fight. I knew that I needed to use every ounce of my experience going through what we had gone through to help others and to raise awareness for the damaging effects of sexual assault, it's threat to education, and to find a way forward. Our family wanted to take all the learning we had acquired throughout the very difficult process of a criminal trial, then civil suit, and share it with others so that they would not feel as alone and traumatized as we had felt, and rather feel empowered, as Chessy ultimately did.
I am so inspired by Susan, when one of the most difficult moments in her life occurs, she stands strong and works to protect and fight for her daughter. Although I have heard this story multiple times, and Susan has shared it across many different platforms, the raw emotion and trauma still strikes me. But even more powerful is the strength and resiliency that Susan courageously demonstrates as she shares her story. .
When asked what keeps her motivated, Susan reflects:
I always ask myself, are we helping high school victims of sexual assault? What do they need from us? Victims from St. Paul's School are still coming forward seven years later. A recent Attorney General mandated report speaks to 10 new cases since a new overseer was appointed by the NH Attorney General, as a result of Chessy's case, and subsequent reports. Our goal is to empower survivors to spark change.
Our motivation is to continue to learn how deeply rape culture is embedded, everywhere we go. While our focus is on our high schools, places of worship, sports teams, clubs and workplaces, the sad reality is that everywhere we go, we learn more about institutional betrayal. Institutions won't change themselves. They need advocates, employees, and stakeholders to push them to have the courage and wherewithal to make change. Simone Biles' commented on Capitol Hill that she blames the system for her abuse made headlines last week and she couldn't be more right. Sexual abusers are enabled by our systems. This has to change.
The well-being of survivors is at the core of all we do. We have a lot of ideas and we are looking for the greatest impact. Right now, we think Consent Education is vitally important for students K- 12. Every school should be teaching consent in a relevant, age appropriate way, with family engagement.
Susan stays focused on the bigger picture and even on the hardest days reminds herself why she continued to work and to push. This is something that comes up a lot on this platform, we all have to dig deep to stay motivated and focused on the good we are trying to create. Few people will ever go about such a radical personal and professional pivot, but Susan’s advice when doing so applies to those big life-changing moments as well as the small ones.
Care deeply, and be passionate about anything you undertake. The terrible thing that has happened to our daughter has given us a mission in life. I knew nothing about starting a non-profit. I gathered people who I knew could help me.
The world needs who you and I were meant to be. Just like I pivoted after trauma, to make sure my daughter had that same opportunity, what if we each had someone with wings over our shoulders, prodding us on, to do the thing we are passionate about? I know for a fact, the future is way better than we can imagine, despite the trauma, despite the unexpected.
Patience is also key. One of my core beliefs is that I am here to make a difference in the lives of people I care about and beyond, whether in small or big ways. You just never know when that might happen. But you should be ready.
Thank you Susan for your candid responses and for being so open with us about your experiences. We have so much we can learn from your personal and professional story and we look forward to supporting you and I Have the Right To. In pivotal moments, how do you find your strength and use it? Tell us in the comments below!
If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, here are some resources. It is never too late to ask for help.
Rainn, The Hotline, Child Help, Suicide Prevention Hotline
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Don’t forget to follow both Susan, I Have the Right To, and myself on LinkedIn and Instagram!
Ashley’s LinkedIn and Instagram