She Did What?! Uncertainty and Spirituality
This past weekend as I scrolled on Instagram and saw my friends and family celebrating Easter, I couldn’t help but think about my own spiritual journey and how it’s played into both my personal and professional life, or rather, maybe how it hasn’t. I know this isn’t something most people would post about on LinkedIn, and quite honestly, it’s uncomfortable for me to talk about, but I really hope it resonates with you.
Like so many, I was raised in a religious household where that religion was presented as the definitive answer to all things. So I took it as the definitive answer to what religion should look like and didn’t think too much about it. My mom brought us up taking the bible literally in every aspect — Noah’s Arc and all. Then, not to be too stereotypical here, I went to college, and my entire perspective on religion and spirituality changed.
My freshman year, I took an international religion course that opened my eyes to the depth of spiritual practices around the world. All of a sudden the church I was raised in wasn’t being presented as the only way, but rather just a way to practice faith. Not to over simplify things but that perspective changed everything for me. I no longer went to church on a regular (or even semi-regular) basis, but I still felt myself growing on my spiritual journey.
Following 9/11, President Bush asked certain staff working in the White House, to read the Quran to ensure we understood the Islamic faith and that Al-Qaeda wasn’t adhering to the basic tenants of Islam. Again, I found myself delving deeper into another spiritual practice and in doing so, finding a new perspective. Again, I found myself coming to the conclusion that faith isn’t static, spirituality isn’t static, and that I believed in something — even if I couldn’t put a label on it.
After thinking so much about spirituality throughout college and those initial working years, I’m now realizing that I haven’t done much soul searching over the last 15 years. I never quite figured out what the something is that I believe in, and it feels important for me to start. So this year, I am. I’ve been reading and learning about different practices, and while I don’t think I’ll necessarily put myself into a specific bucket, I hope to grow in my spirituality and practices around it. While I can’t measure this goal of exploring my spirituality against a standard the way I can for other goals like becoming proficient in French, I’m learning to be okay with that ambiguity. I’m figuring it out day by day. I’m excited for the journey, wherever it may lead — maybe even to a She Did What?! moment.
Do you have a goal that makes you uncomfortable? A goal that scares you or intimidates you? Tell me about it in the comments! We may have some in common.
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